If my body were a map, my scab would be Africa.

Oye! cellphones! brilliant Mike! This is going to be so cool.
Yes. I am a poor drunk baby. In fact, I had whisky and orange juice for breakfast. I think I'm going to just stay drunk until I forget why I was getting so goddamned drunk all of the time. Sorry if I break anyones shit in the meantime... or you have to drive me to the ER... side effects of being a poor drunk baby. you know? and the drunken mess in the kitchen? that was me. and the tower of starburst in the living room... that was me. I was drunk. I'll go home from work today, get drunk, and try to clean it up.

I'm picking black paint out of my fingernails, I had a drunken painting session last night.

Off to work! Drunk!