Round ONe: "I have plans to get naked on Saturday, and they do not involve you." Verdict: Awesome

Round Two: I was harassed by a girl on the street. "Why are you wearing a hospital robe?" It was not a hospital robe... it was a very pretty dress that Lindsay got for me. My feelings were hurt. Verdict: Not Awesome

Round Three: A bulldozer bulldozing a little bush. Verdict: Awesome

Round Four: My new glasses. Verdict: Super awesome MEGA ULTRA

Round Five: Having my kidneys outlined in Sharpie by DC. Verdict: Very very smart

Round SIX: My antique phone dying. Forever. Getting a new phone kind of a thing. Verdict: Sadness.

My Birthday is in 3 days. HOLD THE MAYO!