REPORTS:

reports #1. On Friday afternoon I was felt up by a mentally handicapped man at a store.
reports #2. The socks found in my bedroom are, in fact, NOT Erins. I wore them to craptel yesterday and I have decided that even if they are claimed by 6.11 I am keeping them.
reports #3. 5 AND A HALF DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!
reports #4. I have a new friend. His name is Seth. STORY: Once upon a time, Saturday night around 2, I was walking home from Bretts Erins birthday celebration, up E Wash. I strolled past a someone sitting on their porch playing guitar in a lovely fashion, so I decided to join him. I sat down on the dudes porch and asked him what he was playing.
Dude: Oh... hah. Nothing. I don't know how to play.
Me: Hm. Well, the music you were just playing was nice. Keep playing. Don't mind me. I just going to have a leisurely sit and smoke a cigarette.
Dude: Okay. You want a beer?
Me: Sure. Thank you. My name is Mollie. (handshake)
Dude: My name is Seth, pleased to meet you.
Me: The pleasure is all mine.

So Seth and I drank beer, and then Seth went inside, and came back to his porch with some drums. The kind you hold in between your knees. He gave me a drum and we had a jam session. (hah. I cannot play a drum. It is for sad.) Then this huge black man walked by and he said " Man. I got that! Yeah!" cause he liked our jamming, and we invited him to play with us. His name was John. So Seth and John were on the drums and I played the guitar (hah. I cannot play a guitar. It is for sad.) and it sounded like total shit. John couldn't keep a beat and Seth and I were exchanging "what the fuck is he doing?" glances. Then everyone got the hang of everything and I danced for a while, then I danced with Seth for a while, and it was magical fun. until People across the street started yelling "sexy sexy." Then I got upset and decided to go home. I invited Seth to my birthday party.

The end.

reports #5. Sunday morning I walked to the capitol in my pajamas, peed in the womens bathroom, and then went home.